The Responsibility of All Muslims - Nouman Ali Khan - Quran Weekly
How to Become a Good Muslim Girl
In Islam, women are advised to follow rules that at times may appear to clash with western standards of fairness and equality. However, one will come to notice that everything Muslim women are told to do ultimately benefits women. If you are a Muslim female who feels that she has been lacking in her religious duties, it is not too late to turn that around, regardless of your age or what you have done. When a woman turns baligh (mature), she knows what needs to be done in order to become a better woman in the future.
Understand that all shall be well with Allah's will.Allah is inclined to forgive all sins for He is All-Understanding and All-Forgiving. Even if you feel that you are already too deep to become the good Muslim that you truly can be, Allah will help.
Discover where the influences causing you to turn your back on your religion comes from.Maybe you can trace back the cause to either family situations or friends that are leading you on the wrong path. Leave the friends. They will not be there on the Day of Judgement when you have to face Allah on your own. If it is because of family, it is a little more difficult. This is where the next steps will come in handy.
Repent and ask Allah (SWT) for forgiveness for any sins you commit.You need to let go of past mistakes and work on improving the future. Whatever has happened is done. It is in the past and there is nothing you can do to change it or better it. The only thing you can do is sincerely repent to Allah (SWT) and ask for forgiveness and leniency. Use those negative experiences as motivation to get better and do good.
Notice where your weaknesses are and avoid them.This is not to say that you should run every time a guy comes near, but learn to lower the gaze and interact with unrelated men in a way that is formal and business-like. Remember that Muslim women in the past also interacted with men in their society as business women, teachers, and scholars, and they were all well respected and admired; they did not have to flaunt their beauty to gain this respect or to feel confident or even to contribute to their societies. Remember that Allah (SWT) is severe in punishment for those that disobey Him, but also the most forgiving and the most merciful for those that are trying to improve themselves.
Part 1 Quiz
How can you determine the negative influences that keep you away from Allah?
Displaying your Devotion
Wear the hijab.If you are truly devoted to turning over a new leaf and becoming the best Muslim girl that you can be, wear the hijab. The hijab is not just a piece of cloth that covers hair - it covers and protects your whole self, including your mannerisms, speech, your gaze, and your heart. It changes you mentally and spiritually by identifying you as a Muslim. Think of it as a way for Allah azza wajjal to protect the women. As soon as you wear the hijab, your whole perspective on self-respect and values will automatically change.
- Quran 24:30-31 explains that women should pull their headcovers (khumur) over their chests or breasts, and Quran 33:59-60 says that veiling will help women be recognized as Muslims.
- A hadith narrated by the Prophet's wife Aisha says that Allah will not accept prayer from a woman who has reached puberty unless she wears hijab.
Dress modestly.This means that you have to cover your whole body. You have to wear loose clothes. Hijab is not supposed to be fashionable. Rather, it is a command from Allah (SWT). Avoid clothes that are too tight, such as skinny jeans.This also helps you to change your whole outlook on what is acceptable and what is not. But this does not mean you cant wear nice clothes. Sober or pastel colours, such as black, brown, blue and green are recommended.
- Remember that it is obligatory to cover the whole body except the face, hands, and sometimes the feet, although some scholars believe it's obligatory to cover those as well (especially in the Hanbali school of thought). If you truly believe it is obligatory or wish to seek additional rewards, then make the effort to cover your face with the niqaab and your hands with gloves, as no harm can come from it.
- There isn't one "right" way to cover. Some Muslims believe you can leave your face visible, while others believe it's required to cover it (i.e., wearing niqab). Some say the feet can be left uncovered, while others disagree. In many cases, it's considered sufficient to cover your hair, ears, neck, and most of your body, though if you have questions or are uncertain, talk to other Muslims about it.
Part 2 Quiz
What clothing should you wear as a good Muslim girl?
Pray five times a day.Before you get on the prayer rug, learn what the prayer words mean to enhance your contemplation within prayer. If you do not speak Arabic, try to find some translated versions of the prayer words and take some time to read and understand what the words mean. Start making the five prayers the focal points of your day, the way eating is a need of ours, our spiritual food is prayers.
- When you have established the 5 obligatory prayers, look into what additional prayers you can add to your daily schedule of worship.
Read the Quran.Read the Quran every day and also try to read the translation of the Quran and truly try to understand its meaning. You can read the translation in English or your language as well. Reading the Quran will help you establish a direct relationship with Allah and will also allow you to understand how beautiful the religion is. Listening to it (you can find videos online) also makes you feel closer to Allah.
- Try to memorise some of your favourite verses and incorporate them into your prayers and daily reflections.
Learn more about Islam.Know what acts are compulsory (known as 'wajib', such as prayer, fasting in Ramadhan, seeking Islamic knowledge, etc.) and what you can't do (known as "haraam", such as eating certain foods, sexual activity outside marriage, dressing immodestly, etc.), and the reasoning behind it. The internet is a valuable resource to search for Islamic laws and also information on the consequences that may follow if they are broken. Make sure to only use authentic sources of information. Islam may sometimes seem restrictive and the punishments severe, but its divine legal system is a gift from Allah (SWT) to protect society and to guide the believers to follow His way.
Perform dhikr, which means being mindful of Allah.Dhikr of Allah is one of the best acts to praise Allah. Dhikr has been stressed over a hundred times in the Qur'an. Allah says in his Holy book : "O believers, make abundant mention of Allah!" (33:41) The Prophet said, "If your hearts were always in the state that they are in during dhikr, the angels would come to see you to the point that they would greet you in the middle of the road." Dhikr is, therefore, something of tremendous importance.
- As well as performing dhikr after prayer and before sleeping, take the opportunity to praise and glorify Allah when going about daily activities like household chores, cooking, traveling etc.
- Think about the meaning and significance of every word of dhikr that passes across your tongue.
- Dhikr leads to increased awareness of Allah, which is the key to success in this life and the next.
Allocate a minimum amount of time each day to Islamic activities.For example, four hours out of twenty four for salah, Quran and Islamic studies will enable you to build up your relationship with Allah (SWT) and make good progress towards acquiring the necessary knowledge to become a good Muslimah. Remember that the five daily fardh salah are your top priority and you should structure your daily routine around these. Allow time for self-reflection, especially to think about your sins and to pray to Allah for forgiveness.
- Study is essential in order to best understand how Allah wishes to be worshiped.
- On its own though, study is of no use unless the knowledge acquired is implemented within our lives - ultimately we will be rewarded or punished according to our actions, not our knowledge.
- Set yourself self-improvement targets, for example fasting regularly, reading voluntary prayers, memorising surahs from the Quran or completing charity work.
- Remember that Allah likes consistency in worship, so try to do a little more each day but do not burden yourself with more than you can manage.
Part 3 Quiz
How often should you read the Quran?
Keeping Good Company
Hang out with good Muslim friends.Aim to make friends who share your mission of being a good Muslim and who influence you to do better, or friends who accept your religion. Try to make friends with other Muslims who encourage you to practice Islam.
- Muslim women and girls are encouraged to avoid befriending men and to only befriend other women, as many Muslims believe it's not accepted for men and women to be alone together. Not everybody follows this practice, however. If you choose to avoid befriending boys, learn how to politely reject interaction with boys who approach you.
- Avoid friends that bring bad influences, that harm or hurt your feelings or hold you back from your study and worship.
- There isn't a clear-cut answer on befriending non-Muslims. Some Muslims think it's haram because you could be distracted from Islam and stop believing, while others think it's accepted by Allah and that it's important to be tolerant. Regardless of what you believe about befriending non-Muslims, you should show respect (Allah allows you to show respect to those who haven't fought you due to religion [Quran 60:8-9]), and display Islam in a good light.
Find other female role-models.Realize that there are many excellent female lecturers who are passionate about spreading the peaceful message of Islam. Try to listen to their lectures and make it your mission too to tell other women about how Islam can help them bring meaning and discipline to their lives.
Plan to marry a pious person who cares for you and treats you respectfully.Marrying is considered Sunnah in Islam. Try to search for a spouse who will help you develop your religion and will and treat you fairly.
Consider attending Muslim groups.Sisterhood is very important in Islam and attending sisters' study circles or Qur'an classes are a great way to learn more about Islam and develop a bond with other like-minded girls. Muslim groups are most likely provided at your local mosque.
Take it day by day.If you make it a priority in your mind that you want to strive to be the best Muslim girl possible, you will achieve this goal without even realizing it! Every time you are about to do something, think: "Is this something good that will please Allah?" If it isn't, don't do it! Simply remind yourself and be ready to stop yourself, just in case. Every single moment of every day must be devoted to pleasing Allah (SWT) in order to attain a place in Jannah.
- Learn to recognise the tricks of Shaytaan, who is constantly trying to separate you from Allah.
- Focus your life on obedience and submission to Allah.
Part 4 Quiz
How can you find good female role models?
QuestionCan Muslim girls get educated?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerYes they can. A Muslim girl has hopes, dreams and passions too and they deserve to be fulfilled.Thanks!
QuestionWhat can I do if I don't have enough time to do dhkir and read the Quran?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerTry to take some time out of your day to do these things. If it isn't possible, then you can always do dhkir while traveling to and from work or school, before sleeping, while cooking, cleaning, working out, etc.Thanks!
QuestionWill Allah give me what I want if I do this?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerInshallah, he will but remember it all matters about your niyyah and if your niyyah isn't clean, then Allah will not accept your duas. Sometimes Allah may not give you what you want because he has a better plan for you or you may receive something better in jannah. Most of the time he does and may Allah give you what if its the right thing, ameen.Thanks!
QuestionWhat can I do if I love someone but need to stay away from him so that I don't go away from Allah?wikiHow ContributorCommunity Answer"But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not." (Quran 2:216). It is a trick of Shaytaan to make you love this person so that you will be led astray. Know that real love will bring you close to Allah and not away from Him! Focus on yourself, keep busy, stay healthy, and make lots of dua, inshaAllah the right person will show up in time to take your hand and lead you to Jannah.Thanks!
QuestionI currently don't wear a hijab at school and I'm thinking that I should but I feel a bit awkward since I'd be the only one in my class wearing a hijab. Should I just keep myself uncovered for the next few years or should I start wearing a hijab now?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerThe sooner the better! You shouldn't really care what other people think. Just always tell yourself that you are beautiful on the inside and that you're a good person.Thanks!
QuestionHow do I learn Arabic?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerThey are many books available that teach Arabic from many different base languages. There are also many resources available on the internet.Thanks!
QuestionI am a Muslim woman, what happens if I miss only a few prayers?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerIt is not allowed to miss a single prayer but if you miss a few prayers, offer them later as qadha salah.Thanks!
QuestionWhat can I do if I miss a lot of prayers?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerFirst of all, recognize why you are missing prayers. If you are being distracted or are too lazy to pray, remember that you are constantly being watched by Allah and that on the day of Judgement, your destiny might be hell. If you still miss prayers, try to become closer to Allah by praying and asking for his forgiveness. Feeling guilt, sorrow, and regret will motivate you to stop missing prayers. Ask your family and friends to constantly remind you to pray, or ask them if you can all pray together.Thanks!
QuestionIs it necessary to wear hijab at home?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerYou may if you want, but it is not necessary; you are at home, so only your family can see you.Thanks!
QuestionHow can I be sure that I want to convert to the Muslin religion?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerThe answer is already within your heart. Islam is a religion of fiqrah (natural instinct of human). It enables people to get close to The Creator in any way we live that had been prescribed in Al-Quran and Hadith. Ask yourself if this is that you really want? Be honest and true to yourself.Thanks!
- Do lots of good deeds, especially during Ramadan!
- Seek knowledge. Every time you learn a new thing about Islam, you will be proud to be Muslim.
- Remember that when you feel sad, Allah is always up to something!
- Remember, Islam does not forbid you to have fun and a good life. Just do what is obligatory and avoid what is sin. It will make life better for you.
- If anything unfortunate happens, do not get angry at Allah, for we are mere humans and cannot see His plan for everyone and everything. It was meant to happen.
- Keep Allah in your heart and mind and take him with you everywhere you go.
- Causing even one person to switch to Islam will earn you a great amount of Hassan-ah.
- Every time you feel weak and do not have someone to talk to, remember that Allah (SWT) is always there for you and He is all you need to accomplish this mission.
- Don't do something because others do it. Do it for the sake of Allah and make Him pleased.
- Keep in mind that to receive forgiveness from Allah there are three requirements that you should strive to achieve:
- Recognizing the offense itself by admitting your mistake to Allah.
- Making a commitment to Allah not to repeat the offense.
- Asking for forgiveness from Allah and promising to try and learn from any punishment He may prescribe.
- Before sleeping, think back on everything you did throughout the day. This daily reflection will help you to see where you are going wrong and make the necessary changes.
- Remember that being a Muslimah does not forbid you to have a good life. Have fun in life, just stay within the boundaries and do what you have to do as a Muslim such as prayer. Being close to Allah will give you not only a better afterlife but inshallah a more pleasant life as well.
- Learn as many duas (supplications) such as the dua before sleeping, dua before eating etc. and you, yourself will feel the positive impact the duas have in your life. If you recite the dua before eating when you are about to eat, you will not only have Allah's (SWT) blessings in your food but you will also be getting good deeds the whole time you are eating!
- Keep patience at all time. Allah wants to testify. Allah has created jinn and men to worship him.
- Perform all five salawat (prayers) daily and never miss a prayer.
- Make lots of duaa' (supplication).
- Also follow the Hadith and Sunnah of the prophet read the Quran for guidance respect people and become the Ummah of prophet Muhammad (Pbuh).
- Don't give up in the way of Islam.
- Never trust someone you don't know!
- Make sure that if you do choose to wear a hijab, wear it properly, by covering you hair, shoulders and chest. Do not treat it like a fashionable accessory and ensure you are fully committed to wearing it every time you step out of your house and go out in public. This may take some time in getting used to, but will soon become a part of you and you will feel better wearing it too.
- In hot weather, wearing the hijab can become uncomfortable and one may feel like just taking it off, regardless of where they are. To prevent this from happening, wear hijabs of a lighter color during the summer, since dark colors absorb heat from the sun. Wear hijabs that are of a thin material, such as pure cotton which will not only be kind to the skin but also make you feel cooler. Remember, you are allowed to wear hijabs of different colors and designs to match with your outfit.
- Never be rude to your parents. They are your parents, and they raised you. Try staying polite to show your gratitude.
- If you are going through a tough time, don't stress, for Allah has said everything has a end.
- If you want to join a sports team where you must wear shorts, ask the teacher if you could wear jeans or yoga pants. If that doesn't work, get a note from your parents.
- Remember to say bismillah before doing everything; eating, praying etc.
- Have firm belief in Allah. Belief will make you determined in every field of life.
- Just try to try to be a good Muslim. Keep on thinking about how much improvement you are going to make and think about how happy Allah will be. Just try to never give up. Keep reading Qu'ran, go to hajj and think how happy you will be. Remember to pray your five daily obligatory prayers.
- At first, such a change may prove to be quite different, but it is possible.
- If a teacher asks you do something haraam (dressing up for Halloween, wearing shorts etc.), kindly tell them. If he/she doesn't approve, ask your parents to write a letter. Be confident.
- Whatever happens, do not lose your faith.
Things You'll Need
Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessing be upon him)
Stories of the Sahaba (Companions) and the Prophets esp. Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessing be upon him)
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